Wednesday, 5 January 2011

There's Much Wrong with Pakistan's WC Squad

More than much.

For one reason, it requires you to figure out who ten of the blokes listed actually are. And after you've done that, try to remember who they are. The complication of this job mounts when you discover more than half of these newbies share half of their name with another Pakistani cricketer.

Inappropriately, it results in brain disorders.

"Hey, there's a new Stani bowler there, what's he called?"
"Asad Ali".
"And that guy?"
"Asad Shafiq".
"And the other one?"
"Azhar Ali."
"Oh. I see Tanvir is playing again."
"He isn't, that's Tanveer."

I award you a photographic memory certificate if you can remember all of them.

More is wrong though when you look at those making it and those not.

Rana Naveed ul Hassan.

Hello? Fellow with a hair transplant- check. Useless bowler on most occasions- check.
Being the big geniuses that the PCB are, they learned from Jakes Kallis that new hair does wonders so decided to give Rana Chacha another chance. Rana Chacha=Haircules, never in my life.

Check out that bouncy Head and Shoulders-nourished hair. Definitely makes him a champ, the PCB says

They've also included Kamran Akmal, notorious Pakistan wicky who occasionally turns blind and has a thing for dropping catches. I heard him saying "he feels honoured to be selected and present Pakistan and will do his best." His best in bringing Pakistan near to the bottom of the barrel, he means.

Then there's also Shoaib Malik not making the cut, but I can't be bothered by this headline boy anymore. Seriously, anyone who is labelled a hatemonger and blamed for gossip can't be considered much of a character. Pakistan might be better off without him even though he's often been more than a handy allrounder. To think he was skipper a while ago.

Chief selector Mohsin Khan tries his best to preserve tender Pakistani fan hearts by saying  "We are satisfied that we have selected the best squad from amongst the available players."
Tough job that was, so very tough. After all there were so few players available considering they either get suspended or feel like fleeing. Ijaz Butt says they can give their conscience a break now.


Stani Army said...


Where's my certificate?

That reminds me...I was working once (amazing, I know) and this West Indian guy came in to buy some certificate paper. Do you know how he pronounced certificate? Put on a West Indian accent and say "cer-fiti-cate". Brilliant.

They gotta take Akmal to India. What will the bookies do without him?

I detected a bit of Sania Mirza jealousy there?

sunny said...

First, where is your proof you have remembered all of them? It's not going to work that easy, Stani.

*cough-cough* Me jealous? Of Sania Mirza? How on earth could that be possible; I pity the poor woman actually.