Friday, 17 September 2010

Goodbye again Freddie

The hospitals and docs couldn’t stand it anymore. They said, "See Freddie, it’s not going to work. You’ve got the body of a porcelain china doll and your limbs dangle loosely on your frame like a Pinocchio puppet. Your nose could come of by sneezing and yet you want to play such a rigorous and macho game like cricket. We advise you to stop before we have to replace all your body joints with metal hinges. Give up cricket."

‘Give up cricket.’

The thought roamed in Freddie’s already unbalanced body like a creepy phantom, picking on his body parts. His right knee in particular.
It wasn’t easy. After all he was the sensational Pom in the 2005 Ashes, the one who made 402 runs and took 42 wickets and brought England a victory on a platter. And his million dollar contract with the Chennai Super Kings, the fifer at Lords...leave it all? He didn’t want to, but ...

‘Realism, Fred, Realism. Ah yes’, Freddie thought as his right knee hurt again. He realised he’d been shit for a long while now, his body even shittier at coping with the cricket, and also, he couldn’t stretch out his 2005 performance any more. People didn’t even care about his nice gesture to Lee.
So Freddie called a presser and retired.
Not many were surprised.

That isn’t a surprise either. I can’t recall when I saw him even playing a whole season without succumbing to some injury. There was of course that booze problem too for Fred, but since about the past 3 years it’s been all about his unstable frame. And England fussed and fretted over it. ‘Freddie’s hurt, Freddie’s down...but he’ll be back. Of course he will be, for the Ashes at least.’
But then naughty Freddie joined the IPL, did a clunker’s job for Chennai, and eventually got attacked by another nasty injury.

And now the time has come that the Pommies are doing a good job of it without the showman. Oh yes, a darn good job and Swanny says they don’t even miss him.
Maybe because he was an overrated talisman and maybe because we already knew since a year he won’t ever show up on a cricket field again, despite him being foolishly optimistic of hitting one-day cricket soon like a meteorite. But never mind, that nonsense might have come because of the Red Bull he was sipping.

You might want to read Andrew Miller’s piece on Cricinfo, because for once I agree.

So, goodbye then Freddie. You might have been an overvalued schizophrenic bigwig and a
bloody Pom, but one I liked better than most of the team and one I enjoyed watching play.

We might miss you.

Kind of.

Applause people, applause. The pantomime's showman is leaving.


Stani Army said...

Rubbish, self-interested waste! Goodbye Freddie indeed and now let's stop talking about him.

sunny said...

Okay, as you wish.
But I always do retiring buddies posts, that's why.