Sunday, 5 September 2010

What everyone's thinking about the match-fixing

Stop being happy, I’m back already.
And sadly nothing of the match-fixing business has disappeared; I thought staying away from all of it for a few days might exterminate the whole thing. It didn’t help just like closing your eyes when a mad bison comes charging at you doesn’t.


You have to admire though how everyone wants to become popular through this spot-fixing issue. Everyone’s thinking and talking about it, like these blokes:


 Haroon Lorgat- “All those curmudgeons and dunderheads are saying the ICC is responsible for this controversy. Which I know it is, but bloody won’t owe up. I’d better ban those three rabble rousers for life to show how competent we the ICC are.”


Figjam- “The selectors are ***** for dropping me but I still rock because I made the headlines despite that ridiculous scandal going on. And now I’m going to get more followers on Twitter than Biff the muppet.”


Nathan Hauritz- “I’ll die if it comes out that those fifers I got were fake. Oh..boohoo...now Ricky might not let me play the Ashes and Sid might even stop loving me.”


Pss; trust me she won’t Nate. Here’s a hanky.


Mohammad Aamer- “This is so bad. I didn’t know it would become all so bad. I thought the man was trying to raise charity for the flood victims."

But I still feel bad for him.


Kaithapram Damodaran Namboodiri- “My movie plan is in ditches because there’s no Pakistani bowler left who I could use in my movie. Wait, how would Rana Naved ul Hasan do?”


                                  "Me for the hero, please please pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasee!!!"



Mohammad Asif- “Damn, I always get in trouble. First the drugs, now this crap, why don’t I just join the Sicilian Mafia or the Russian Brotherhood. I’ll get richer that way and it’s better than playing dirty cricket.”

Veena Malik- “See how those other actresses are burning with jealousy now that I got myself in the news. And now I also can get more publicity by bringing up the story of that cheat pinching my money again. Ha, who laughs last laughs best Asif.”


Shane Watson- “I’m so shocked at all what happened. Just imagine if I had got involved in this business-Oh, every miniscule feature of my body would have cringed with utter disgust and my heart would have stopped beating by the unspeakable shame of it. I feel like crying.”


Stuart Broad- “This is TOTALLYDAMNEDBULLSHIT which has besmirched my amazing century. I need my Daddy.RIGHT.NOW!!!!”


That was Broad exploding by the way.

Andrew Strauss- “This is too bad for our Ashes preparation, and the Ashes we just can’t lose. Maybe we should fix the games?”


News reporters- “We’re so glad we now have finally got an interesting news story which we can exaggerate a hundred times and show a hundred times to the viewers till it comes out of their ears.”


Sunny- “I bloody have got enough of it and feel like watching a game of cricket in Paradise without match fixing and lots of tea to drink.”

9 comments:

Sidthegnomenator said...

You are quite right, Nate was My Lord before that 5-for and shall remain so forever more. And they won't drop him because who else would they use? Smith? No way. The K-Word ... they'd better bloody not.

P.S. love the Amir one. I could live with him being dumb and cute.

sunny said...

I think Nate is a pretty good bowler, and wouldn't he have been in and out due to injuries, could develop into a better one.
And yeah, where's Krejza? He seems to have permanently vanished from the scene since SA toured Aus.

Amir is dumb and adorable. I've always viewed him as a gullible and childish lad and I will continue to do so.

Stani Army said...

Do you have bisons charge at you often Sunny?

ICC gets more pointless by the year.

Did you see how angelic Shane Watson was trying to be when asked about the spot fixing scandal? Almost makes you wonder why we hate the guy so much...almost.

Are you ladies falling for Amir? I'm not getting jealous or anything....just asking.

sunny said...

No I don't, but I think bison riding would be wonderful. I'll put you on for the trial first though.

Uhm..no..I'm not falling for Aamer. I only feel bad for him just as you tend to do for any young lad getting involved in the wrong things. Makes sense, no?

Stani Army said...

Yes old lady, it makes sense.

Sidthegnomenator said...

I fell for Amir a while ago.

Sorry, Sunny.

Stani Army said...

See, a girl with taste...long as you don't forget about me Sid. I have that natural Stani talent thing too!

Sunny, you can stick to Biff :)

sunny said...

Why are you not playing for the team if you've got talent, grandad?

Stick with Biff? I've never adored him and you bloody well know that. Remember you said you would be nice to me?

Sidthegnomenator said...

Make youself known to the PCB, Stani. They will have no players left soon and might need you.

Play your cards right and you could be captain this time next year.