Sunday, 14 November 2010

Pak vs SA: The Suspicious Numeros

The unfairness of Test cricket is that due to its long duration you're not able to watch the entire game, which means you miss chunks of the it. Which also means you can miss the most lovely parts. Which happened twice in the course of this match with me, when the Saffers lost 8 wickets for 73 and the Stanis 8 for 72.

Cheaters, you say. Aha.

Of course getting mathematical figures so close in cricket is very suspicious, particularly because mathematical figures are difficult to duplicate. And with our brains already being automated to perceive most things suspicious where Pakistan is involved, this all forms an oversuspicious situation that demands investigation. Beefy Butt will of course blow up at this. Bastards, he says, this was Pakistan's pre-planned thing so it isn't their fault they batted second. Also, batting collapses are something absolutely Stani-like, so replicating them is plagiarism. Sue the South Africans.

But before your delicate brains become too intertwined in this strange story of matching numbers, let me explain today's day in a simple way:
Pakistan was rising. But then started tumbling. And tumbling. And tumbling. Until they there was no more tumbling left to do. It were Harro and Botes who pushed them, but Morne Morkel it was who dragged them all along.

Well not exactly finis because I'm ending this post with pictures.

Paul Harris prayed for wickets..

...but half of them went to Botes, even though he had dirty yellow teeth and had smeared the toothpaste on his face.

Morne Morkel had to look dangerous and awesome, so he grew a pair of extra arms.

But then Biff cried because he wanted a pair of them too.


Anonymous said...

Biff looks he has an odd shaped ... you know ... thing.

Well, he does. Can I help it if my brain is sick?

sunny said...

Erm, I don't know Sid.
Maybe Stani can help you out with brain sickness?

Stani Army said...

You think that's why Botha's teeth are yellow? Because he keeps missing his mouth and smearing the toothpaste over his face. That's a real condition by the way...not sure what it's called but the guy in the film Airplane had it. And if you haven't watched that film, you gotta.

What am I? A neuropsychiatrist?