Friday, 23 July 2010

Let’s all put Shane Watson in jail

Whenever Watson is thrown the ball and starts his run-up, I expect a moment of delight. It will be one where Watson’s bowl is elegantly dispatched for a four through the covers or where a monstrous six is clobbered right over his head with disdain.
And then I wait for the expression on his face.
When his lips begin twitching and he cries like he’s missed the train.
It’s the best part of it all.

Now when something happens on the contrary, you have to understand that I will naturally be disappointed.
Especially when he gets a fiver or a sixer against the Stanis. Then I believe it’s just time to call the cops, have Watson taken away from the cricket field and carried to the jail in a potato sack. And put tape on his mouth in case he gets it in his head to cry.

Yesterday Watto showed the other Aussie bowlers how easily you get yourself wickets with full-swingers. He was the hero climbing out of the debris and rubble, initiating the plan and eventually hauling his mates out on three metre wide shoulders.

From one perception, it was heroic vindictiveness, but from another, it was the obliterating, the slow finishing off of ambitious Stani hopes, and therefore, unforgivable spoilsportism. Pakistan’s pace bowlers were crying in the changeroom and Stani supporters had to shut down there tv sets, all because of this Watson taking wickets. How dare he, the criminal.

You may call me a mean bigot now, but I can’t do anything about it.

With Shane Watson, it was hate at first sight.


Stani Army said...

Prison Sunny? There must be a worse punishment surely?

I hated the guy before I saw him!

sunny said...

That's your job then Stani.
Go and get a list of all the worst torture methods you can find.

Before you saw him? Was it the name you heard of then or what?

Stani Army said...

...previous life init? :)

I'm off to compile my list although I'm gonna have to take 'drops an important catch' off the list now because he just did it :) I loved that moment. Highlight of he Summer.

sunny said...

Why not have a wallpaper made of it?
For your help, type 'Worst torture devices in history' in the Google search bar and you'll get plenty of good suggestions.

Anonymous said...

Stani, how exciting! Another Twatto hater. But Stani, that dropped catch today ... surely you like him a tiny bit more now?

The picture of him looking despondently at the ground was a gem. Hence, I blogged. These things can't be helped.

Sunny, I realise the world doesn't revolve around me (most of the time) but it does seem that just after I go mad on criticising Twatto the bowler, he turns around and bowls good. I think perhaps I need to be jailed.

sunny said...

Sid, I'm a Twatto-hater and a Swann-hater as well. These two are actually unlovable.

Sid, after revealing such an important piece of information, I'll never put you in jail. Why don't you try it the other way? Praising Watto all the time and then he'll bowl rubbish.

Shridhar Jaju said...

Sid, you will find Twatto-haters all round the world... maybe, in Twatto's own backyard as well!

He'd be very good for a role in a horror film!

sunny said...

Sridhar, horror movie? No, he'll even get the ghosts in it laughing with his faces.
He needs to play the role of a clumsy villain...or actually I've found the perfect role for him since a month. But that's for another post.

Shridhar Jaju said...

Will be waiting for that post from you, Sunny!