Saturday, 17 July 2010

Ta-ta Captain Shahid

Yes, yes, the Stanis lost by 150 runs, but that doesn’t need mentioning, does it? We all knew from before they were going to lose. Move on.

There’s a bit of more interesting news which the unpredictable bombshell which is Pakistan cricket decided to throw at us: Captain Shahid is retiring. From Tests.

These are the reasons for his retirement I could think of, ranging from the credible to the incredible:
* Captain Shahid is no good at Tests. It doesn’t really matter whether he’s there or not.
* Captain Shahid isn’t interested in playing Tests. And when Captain Shahid isn’t interested in doing something, he’ll play in the scatterbrained way he did yesterday.
* Captain Shahid is a noble man and was only doing the stupid job for his country. And when he’s becoming a stupid at the job, it’s better someone else started doing it.
* Captain Shahid respects tradition. His predecessors left abruptly and without notification, and never stayed longer than a few months. Why should he?
* Captain Shahid’s body has started to unhinge. Like all other smart guys (Bondy and Freddie for instance) he’s hanging up his whites to play easy-peasy limited overs games.
* One of Captain Shahid’s ears is blocked and hence he can’t throw stuff out anymore. If he doesn’t quit, his head may burst.
* Captain Shahid thinks wearing white clothes is too sissy.
* One of the young rascals in the team said he’d start WWIII because he doesn’t like Captain Shahid, and before the team started fighting like Kilkenny cats, he thought it was better to go. We told you Captain Shahid is a noble man.

Among other things, we also got the news that in addition of having two ears, Captain Shahid has also two minds.
"...I was in two minds. You can say I was not strong mentally."

He’s a wonder, our Captain Shahid.


Stani Army said...

Your second point is the most important and Afridi should get blasted for it. He gave up half way through a Test just because he decided in his little mind that he didnt want to play Test cricket any more.

But you forgot the main reason Sunny! Afridi quit because the red ball doesnt taste as nice :)

sunny said...

Told you he's a screwball Stani.

But do you know red balls don't taste as must have tried them out :P

Stani Army said...

They're a Chinese delicacy...I used to be Chinese in a previous life, in case you're wondering. Ahem.

sunny said...

So in some other lives you used to be Belg and Chinese. Should I conclude you're not perfectly human Stani?