Chins Up, Kiwis.

Yes, they may have lost this match by an innings, but how proud of a 1-0 Test victory over the Blackaps the Indians will be I don't know. The Kiwi boys however can dance like crazy Rumplestiltskins if they want (alright, a little jig would do, they didn't win it), because being just bestowed by the knowledge of having pulled of a feat which the Aussies weren't able to a month or so ago must feel good. Pretty good, actually. We're talking about the once invincible Aussies after all.



So the two good things the Blackaps did were the draws. The shit part, of course, was this match. Doesn't matter really, because if you know a bit how to throw numbers around you'll understand the good : bad = 2 : 1. Damn, how I just missed my math classes.



The best part of the entire series I already talked about, and with a half decent brain you'll remember it was Chris the bald Ninja doing his mojos and hadoukens and weird stuff when he rattled the Indians. Too bad Bhajji spoiled it. Now that we're talking of it, this Bluebearded criminal in my books got the man of the series award. Worst of all, he got it through his batting.



At least Dan got 4 wickets more than Bhajji in the series. Now that's at least some consolation.

(I had to post this yesterday, but internet problems busted my plan).

Harbhajan Singh, Spoiler of the Good

Just when you thought a Kiwi win was inevitable, an it it meagre chances of not happening seemingly rested alone on super brilliance by Waxman, Bhajji came on as unwanted saviour, scored his first maiden ton, and spoiled all the good fun a Blackap win would have brought.
The heartless bastard.

That he has been one big unbearable baddie since he invaded cricket is a well known thing, but meanness to the Kiwis is more unacceptable than Ramiz Raja's haircut.

And on top of it, the Indian selectors won't ever drop him now, probably. He may have been bowling rubbish, but with his ton he has indoctrinated folks enough for another 5 years that he is India's most recently discovered awesome batting sensation, while he clearly isn't. Time to throw the guy out.

All Hail the Kiwis and Chris Martin

Before the series between India and the Blackaps started, I thought of doing a post requesting the Indians to be a bit generous to the Kiwis and beat them gently if they will. I had a presentiment that after the disastrous tour to Bangladesh, the Kiwis would end up as mustard midgets at the hand of India and Daniel Vettori would run crying to Geneva to start his life as an evil scientist in recluse.

But today we were shown that goodness is bestown on the good. The Kiwis are noble folks, they rarely thrash anyone and they won the ICC Spirit of Cricket Award twice in a row. Yes, it's true, and if you are still not convinced you should remind yourself they are led by a man with spectacles. There's too much good about spectacles.

Anyhow, today it was India who was turned into smithereens for a change. Bloody India who almost never lose on their own fields and robbed the Saffers of a Test series victory are now lying in a hopeless rubble and only some Laxman is out to glue them together. All of we have to pray that doesn't happen because that would seriously spoil Chris Martin's heroics.

Chris Martin is the coolest bald ninja on earth. He proved he can survive for plenty of balls and can take 5 wickets in a day without going crazy as a result of the achievement. He radiated so much superhero-ness today that Dan the Man couldn't even act as his sidekick.

That's Chris Martin's move to hit someone in the head.

JesseR and that new guy Williamson deserve lots and lots of praise for their batting work too, together with Taylor and Baz, but nothing would look as great if the Kiwis didn't win this one know.
The only advantage of this would be Jesse Ryder not getting drunk in the celebrations.

But anyhow Blackaps, win it. Just win it.

He’s JesseR. And he’s a Bad Boy.

In the profile of New Zealand’s unruly baddie and sworn troublemaker for life, JesseR has wreaked havoc in a hotel again. With complete hyperbolic exaggeration we’re telling you he probably smashed ten windows, hung the hotel registrant at a door and clubbed down a few of the police officers after getting inebriated by finishing four crates of beer bottles.

This news isn’t the bad one though. The bad one is that he’s got enough of this behaviour.

Now for many of the Blackaps it’s been a bit of a tough job getting the same high profile image as those from India and Australia get. But not for JesseR. He was the Kiwi who trumpeted his entry from beyond the boundary, blaring "HEY THERE! IT‘S ME JESSE-R AND WILL I BE A GOOD LAD? NEVAAAA!!!"

That’s how you do it. That’s how you make yourself popular in a time frame less than one-tenth that of Vettori and putting in an effort less than one-tenth of Vettori. Go JesseR- he was the man who brought the art of popularity-in-9-months to cricket and tarnished New Zealand’s reputation of gentleness.

But now what he’s got to say is this:

"Now I know that I have to keep my head down, keep training hard and force my way back in the side. This is pretty much a wakeup call for me. I just have to stay home now and try and stay away from all the off-field distractions so I don’t get in trouble out in public. I’m pretty desperate to stay on the right track and be a Black Cap [New Zealand player]."

"Now they've hidden away all the booze. Criminals."

JesseR, don’t you realise we won’t like you as a meek giant teddybear? That we want you to be a rebellious monster of a grizzly? Don’t believe everything what New Zealand Cricket tells you. Play like a superstar for one season and break hell the next; they can’t drop you that way.

Way to go, JesseR.