Abdul Razzaq is the new Boom-Boom

It would rock to be Abdul Razzaq for even one bloody day. Preferably during an exam session, because answering questions would be easier than getting Chris Martin out for a duck then. If Razzaq entered your anxious soul, you would be writing answers this way:
"What's the importance of the three witches in Macbeth?"

"Dat they r 3 cool old hags who boil weird thingies in their cauldron. Just yesterday they put an armadillo with cat paws in and I bet I even saw Dougie Bollinger following. He cried like an overgrown baby. So basically this makes 'em very scary and Macbeth is all about the scary stuff you know. No big deal. But I'm sure you've already bolted your door now, isn't it so examiner? Not that I care."
SIGNED....RAZZAK(Q)

It's so indifferent. And simple. 
As simple as Razzaq made hitting sixes look yesterday.
Yes, you fabulous old codger, ancient Pakistani who has survived for some bloody 15 years, annihilator of unsuspecting bowlers at the death, you deserve a free ride in the Pakistani team for another 15 years. It will be a most generous offer considering few survive less than 5 months there nowadays.

Greet the new Boom Boom with flowers and rose petals

But now we come to Albie. Oh, Albie. I thought you were meant to be the next Polly, the next Klusener (or was that Morne? They're shamelessly naming so many successors of them these days that I'm left in a muddle), but what do you do? BOWL LITTLE LOLLIPOPS. Lollipop bowlers are supposed to be sent back to domestic cricket. I hope you get that.

The best thing about yesterday's match was that it can boast of being interesting. At least ever since Afridi and then Razzaq stepped in to bat. Haha, that's a blow to the 'ODIs are so dead' campaign. Then there was also Colly Ingram scoring his second ton there, hats off to the boy; it's sad his day had to be ruined later. Equally good was that some sense can be knocked into the messed up Saffer heads; sense that they need to get their damn bowling line up right and include Rusty.

Yes, you almost forgot about him, so I'll remind you; Rusty Theron- endangered gingerhead with deathly bowling capabilities. Needs to be recalled to the team ASAP.

Gullers wraps Pakistan in brilliance

Pakistan won yesterday and it's quite brilliant you know. On the other hand it isn't too brilliant because I had decided not to post if they lost. 

Yesterday was all about Gullers and his amazing sixer. Oh, it was amazing. So amazing it killed all the amazingness in the Poms and made you remember how amazing Gul can actually be. He seriously can, even though he played like a horrible dabbler for a while. But now it's all over, all of you should forgive him, and watch replays of his fifer against NZ past year to wallow even more in his amazingness. Do it or he might turn to match-fixing if not appreciated.

"I'm so AMAZINGLY amazing."

Before you drown in Guls's amazingness and get it in your head to blame me for murdering you, let me remind you that there was a cluster of other amusing events too. One of them was of course our very own potty screwball Captain Shahid's dismissal.
It was one of those bedevilling dismissals where you think nothing has happened only to see the batsman heading to the pavilion after a while, and only after a bunch of replays you get the situation.

On a first impression it seems like another insane brainfreeze on Afridi's part. Maybe he was thinking, "Tralala, see how gracefully I jog to the other end; Cheetah shoes must be watching. Oops, there comes the ball, I'm nearly in but let's not rush things or it will disturb the whole effect of the jog." And then he was out.
But if you decipher the situation you will see how Captain Shahid with his super bionic left eye saw the ball approaching with incredible speed and with proficient athletic skill swung to the right to avoid getting his leg bone crushed. That's 10 out of 10 for skilfully planning ahead.

Other than this, Fawad Alam made a nice contribution and old-codger Razzaq displayed his late cameo abilities again. 241 still looked like a crappy score but thankfully the Pommie batsmen were even more crap and so the Stanis won.
And now all of us will have to watch the next game too because it won't be a deadrubber. You're only allowed to miss deadrubbers and a few T20 games of cricket.

Edit: And now I hear the ICC will investigate the match because of fixing rumours. Horrible, horrible, horrible.