An Explanation Behind Twatto's Performance

I had even forgotten the Aussies were playing the Banglas today. I'm quite honestly not even giving much of a toss about the series; I've said before watching weaker teams getting themselves steamrolled isn't exactly one of my hobbies.

Shane Watson of course knows that and so he scores some 185 runs from 96 balls. Including 15 fours and 15 sixes. Will you look at that? I mean, CAN you even look at that?
I first thought Cricinfo had become a victim of a cyberattack to give me such incredible stats, but it turns out it is all true. I shouldn't be relinquishing my idea of dragging Twatto in a potato sack to jail anytime soon.

I do suspect two reasons behind such an insane innings however.

1- Twatto saw the nice pink outfit I've created for him and therefore played this beast of an innings in an attempt to impress me, so that I consequently have mercy on him and do not get him to wear it. On second thoughts though, he might have tried to impress me because he actually wants that I do send it to him because he feels the Desparate Housewife Outfit from company Team Barbie will suit him. Either way, he won't be getting it for free.

2- This was all really a campaign to kick out Bangladesh from the next WC and get Ireland in. Twatto felt if he could literally smack the Bangladeshi bowlers in the ground and mutilate them for life, the Banglas would not be able to play in the next WC. So that's his way of contributing his cent for the Associates' cause.

So, nothing too special about his innings.

Time to move on with life, people.

Winning and Winning

Match One:

Under tense circumstances, (but still being brashly optimistic) the Deshis take the field. The South Africans post a goodish score.

A goodish score is obviously not what the Deshis wanted and so they play the "Heck, we're never going to make it" game and bundle out for 78. Lopsy and Robbie P are so formidable that them living in obscurity some 2-3 years back looks like a miracle.

At the post match presentation, Shakib utters that eternal word of captivating beauty, that word which has dabbled on the lips of countless criminals and rabble-rousers, and in typical movie sense, ultimately led to their their redemption: "Sorry".
He doesn't get any redemption but at least makes it safely to the hotel with his team.
That's better than redemption.

Match Two:

On a naughty wicket in Colombo, the Stanis take on the Aussies. The Aussies think they'll do better than the Deshis and go on to score a hundred more. But, "Sorry", says Umar Akmal. "I've got to be the MoM today and praise me and my bro. Gotta win this game".
The Aussies lose.

Yes they do.

First time since 1999 in a World Cup.

Feels good.

The Poms Are Kind of...

The Poms.

HAHAHA.

They're one bag of riddles and absurdity in this World Cup.
Otherwise they wouldn't have lost to Ireland and the Banglas, but at least Andrew Strauss can go back to being all diplomatic about his campaign to resurrect the weak cricket nations.
Or saying "We still believe we can".

All teams apparently believe they can win this World Cup. It's an essential statement every captain has to make but most of the time translates to 'No, we don't really because we know we're crap and all and we feel queasy when it comes to big games, but we have to say it to look self-confident and optimistic, which is so trendy for every sportsman.'

So the Poms might have to believe they can, or the British press will have the time of their lives (criticising is so much easier than praising unless you're a thoroughly trained sycophant)- therefore, the Windies absolutely need to win against them.
Comparisons to the Stani team are appearing alongwith a victory reminiscent of 1992 so they need to be stopped NOW.

There's only one Stani team and that's it. The Poms need to be proven as a bunch of amateurs in the field of being interesting and insane.
They're slowly becoming even likeable for some.

And this is something I felt like making. Because at least yesterday I could laugh heartily.

The joy of watching Strauss despair.

Ps- Rubbish title, I know. It's the Poms fault though.