Sunday, 15 August 2010

Akmal and Broad chat on MSN

Okay, I know Cricinfo’s Page 2 has probably miffed you enough with their endless spy-cammer reports, but doing them is so irresistible that I’ll turn into an annoying bugger myself for the day, and bring you a stalked MSN live chat between Stuey and snr. Akmal.

Broady is sitting in his room, browsing cricket sites and reading all the nasty stuff people have got to say about his impudent behaviour. He writes the names carefully down and plans to get’em reported to his Dad. Suddenly Kamran Akmal comes online.

On Stuey’s screen:

K. Akmal has sent you a buzzer.
K. Akmal has sent you a buzzer.
K. Akmal has sent you a buzzer.
K. Akmal has sent you a buzzer.

Stuey thinks of appearing offline but then remembers something and reluctantly types:

Yeah hello...umm, what’s up?
K. Akmal : Hello! A varry bootiful moon is up.
Stuey : Oh..well. Why do you want to talk with me?
K. Akmal : Becoz I’m is varry happy. You makes me happy.
Stuey : Geez Akmal, can’t you share your euphoria with someone else?
K. Akmal : Wat is euphoria? Just like dairia? I not can share dat.
Stuey : OK, just leave it. Wait, are you talking about our deal? That I had to injure that new bloke Haider?
K. Akmal : Yes, yes, u are so rite. U make his pain bigger bad and now not play he in next Test. So I would be keeper now again and dat makes me varry happy.
Stuey : Yeah, it wasn’t too difficult, I aim so perfectly well. They cut my match fees for half, but you’re going to pay for that right? And you also promised you’d allow me to make a century when you keep next time by hitting all my edges to the boundary, remember?
K. Akmal : Yes, me knows. Not takes worry you. I do everything, Pakistan crikeet ka SOOPERMAN to mayn hi hun na.*

"Yah, itz me, Pak crikeet's Sooperman. Itz not Shahid Bhai"

Stuey : Sorry?!
K. Akmal : Aik to is uloo ko urdu samajh mayn nahi aati. Angraiz putar kahi ka.*
Stuey : What? Sorry Akmal, I seriously don’t get all of that stuff.
K. Akmal : Leaf it. And i hav to leaf too, small Akmal comes in, he cannot see wat chating we talked! Bi bi..
On Stuey’s screen : K. Akmal has sent you a wink. Play Kiss.

*Pakistani and Indian folks, I hope I got the Urdu/Hindi right. Since I might not have got it right, feel free to correct and be kind enough to provide a translation in the comments section for those who didn’t get anything of it.


mspr1nt said...

I love this :)
Next request: MSN chat between Stu and KP over who should be the bigger douche?

Stani Army said...

Translation of Sunny's urdu:

You ****** cant you just **** off you smelly ****. Such a dumb **********. ****** ** ******** ****.

I'm disappointed in you Sunny.

sunny said...

Thanks mspr1nt. :)
The next request shouldn't be too difficult. I just have to open my dictionary of very English abuses, use them in the chat and end it with KP ripping Stu's head off-all through MSN. ;)

sunny said...

Stani, you're a criminal.
You're accusing a good person like me of using such bad words.
Btw, you seem to be very experienced in insulting Urdu words.O.o

And behave or I might throw some words in Dutch at you.