Sunday, 8 August 2010

He’s JesseR. And he’s a Bad Boy.

In the profile of New Zealand’s unruly baddie and sworn troublemaker for life, JesseR has wreaked havoc in a hotel again. With complete hyperbolic exaggeration we’re telling you he probably smashed ten windows, hung the hotel registrant at a door and clubbed down a few of the police officers after getting inebriated by finishing four crates of beer bottles.

This news isn’t the bad one though. The bad one is that he’s got enough of this behaviour.

Now for many of the Blackaps it’s been a bit of a tough job getting the same high profile image as those from India and Australia get. But not for JesseR. He was the Kiwi who trumpeted his entry from beyond the boundary, blaring "HEY THERE! IT‘S ME JESSE-R AND WILL I BE A GOOD LAD? NEVAAAA!!!"

That’s how you do it. That’s how you make yourself popular in a time frame less than one-tenth that of Vettori and putting in an effort less than one-tenth of Vettori. Go JesseR- he was the man who brought the art of popularity-in-9-months to cricket and tarnished New Zealand’s reputation of gentleness.

But now what he’s got to say is this:

"Now I know that I have to keep my head down, keep training hard and force my way back in the side. This is pretty much a wakeup call for me. I just have to stay home now and try and stay away from all the off-field distractions so I don’t get in trouble out in public. I’m pretty desperate to stay on the right track and be a Black Cap [New Zealand player]."

"Now they've hidden away all the booze. Criminals."

JesseR, don’t you realise we won’t like you as a meek giant teddybear? That we want you to be a rebellious monster of a grizzly? Don’t believe everything what New Zealand Cricket tells you. Play like a superstar for one season and break hell the next; they can’t drop you that way.

Way to go, JesseR.


Gen said...


sunny said...

Uhmmm...what's there to be angry about Gen, did I say anything wrong? :P