India's Pre-World Cupisitis

The Indians are really getting themselves in a whole lot of unneeded mess, but that doesn’t mean you can laugh. Laughing at the handicapped or sick is a sin, so I’m advocating you not to make fun of the Indian team because they’re suffering from a very weird illness. One if you got, you’d probably chain yourself to the hospital bed and cry to be operated at even your toenails. So, don’t laugh.

It’s something called the pre-World Cupisitis Syndrome. No, you don’t get slimy warts and pimples on your face, neither does hair start growing in your mouth, but it’s terrible all the same.

Very, actually. It caused India to plunge twice to scores in the tri-series that you’d better want to hide away. It’s something that makes your legs shudder from excitement, blinds you after the bowler’s run up and glues your feet to the crease.

It also acts like some kind of laxative, so batsmen always quickly have to make it back to the pavilion. Otherwise...well I don’t need to tell you that, do I?

After taking control of the physical abilities of players in a cricket ground, it slowly creeps up to the brain and causes disorders. A few have already been affected.

Such as Dhoni, who now thinks being the number one ODI batsman will cause additional pressure. And Jadeja who’s having endless reveries of getting the ICC emerging Player of the Year Award. Even Yuvi has started to get nightmares of carrying water bottles over broken ice rinks.

And the scary thing is, it might get even worse. So worse, that I’ll secretly be glad because the Saffies can then easily defeat them in the upcoming series and smugly claim to be the best side in the world. Or better not. They always play like rubbish when they think they are the best.

And in case you’re wondering, pre-World Cupisitis isn’t contagious.

Pre-World Cupisitis: causing excitement till your head cracks